So I have to give a talk in church tomorrow. The topic is "How to make our homes like the temple." Yikes. As I was preparing, I was thinking about classic stories from our childhood. I texted my mom and siblings and they sent me some more funny stories. Usually when I have to teach, it comes to me in outline form, but today was a bit different. It just started spilling out like I was writing in my journal. I know I'll put it into an outline form for church tomorrow, but I am glad I have it written like this, because I want to share it with my family. It's amazing how much I really learned as a kid about the Savior and wanting to be in the temple. Here you go family, don't get mad at me for stories that are shared about you... :) And sorry it's kind of long (again, I won't be reading this word for word or anything)
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I would not
call myself an expert on creating a temple-like home. When I think of my home growing
up and the temple, they are distinctly different places. Maybe a little
background will help explain why.
It really is miraculous that none of us died growing up. One time when I
was pretty little, while our parents were gone, we were eating dinner. My older
brother Brandon was in charge and my older sister Wendy told him to shut up. In
response to her rudeness, Brandon threw a fork at her and it lodged in her
shin, sticking straight out of her leg. That same sister hit me in the back of
the head once so hard that it gave me a bloody nose. And to continue with the cycle of abuse, my
little brother Trent says that I used to chase him around the house putting boogers
in his hair. Nathan pushed Brandon into the fridge once, so Brandon chased him
out of the house with the broom. He ended up throwing the broom, which tripped
Nathan and he face-planted into the street. Trent threw a toy gun at Travis’
forehead which he ended up needing stitches for. I have plenty more stories
like this, including the oldest in the family frequently cornering a couple of
us in the living room to make us box. We weren’t allowed to leave until someone
was crying. Interesting how the oldest one was such an instigator… It wasn’t
all murderous behavior--we did help each other sneak out of the house
occasionally. And at least twice Nathan saved Trent with the Heimlich maneuver.
Like I said, it was a miracle we’re all alive to tell the tales of our house.
Then I think about the temple. I
absolutely love the temple. I love the feeling of going to the temple and the
safety there. I love having people call me “sister.” I don’t know why, maybe it’s
still mission nostalgia, but I love it. I love how happy everyone is while they’re
talking to each other and how they’re working to help it be as wonderful of an
experience as possible. So how do we merge these two places into having some
type of connection?
I think a great start to having
our homes be like the temple is to think about what we love about the temple
and try to bring those themes into our homes. Each of us loves unique things
about the temple and our homes could be more sacred if we try to bring those
things in. That way, we can be making our homes like the temple in a way that matters
to us. We won’t have to be comparing our sacred homes to the neighbor’s sacred
home. Like I said, I love how everyone talks to each other in the temple. I
have really tried to clean up my language lately. Not that I’m cursing like a
sailor or anything, but I definitely say things I would be so embarrassed to be
heard saying in the temple. Ps. 15:1 teaches that “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”
Many of the battles in my house growing up could have been avoided if we had
given soft answers. As we have grown up and matured, that happens much more
frequently and it has made such a difference in our relationships.
Another thing I love about the
temple is all the family-togetherness. Once when I was in the hallway, I
overheard a conversation between two white-haired men. It went something like
this,
“Hey brother! How are you?”
“Good! How are you! It’s been so long!”
“I’m great! You’ll have to wait to see my wife, she’ll be out in a
minute. Aren’t wives the greatest?”
“Sure are! They keep us in line! I love my wife!”
So these two
old men were in the temple catching up by talking about how awesome their wives
are. In the temple we get to learn about the blessing of an eternal family, how
to build our relationships, and how to make covenants that will ensure we will
be together eternally. We also learn the value of children and how much God
works to save His children. It would be amazing if we could let that knowledge
and feelings permeate our homes. If our spouses and kids could catch us saying
wonderful things about each other and how grateful we are to spend eternity
with them. Especially if we apply the things we learn in the temple regarding
families; if we will also work hard to save our families. Our homes could have
that feeling of the promise of eternal life together.
Those are just a couple of the
things that are meaningful to me. Most importantly, I feel like the way to for
sure have our homes be sacred temples is to put Christ as the foundation. In
the temple we learn that it is by the authority and power of Christ that we’re
able to remove Satan from our lives and receive all of the eternal ordinances
and blessings God wants us to have. 2 Nephi 25:26 teaches us that “We talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we
preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our
prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a
remission of their sins.” Even though my family oftentimes resembled a
mixture of the Lord of the Flies and American Gladiators, this foundation in
Christ was evident in my home as well. My little brother Travis was preparing
for his mission and had to get his wisdom teeth removed. When he woke up from
the sedation, he looked at my mom and said with tears in his eyes, “I love
Jesus Christ!” He said it several times and later said that when he woke up he
was just filled with so much love. I don’t know if he was having some kind of
vision or something or if he was just affected by the drugs, but his mind had
been so focused on the Savior and preparing to teach the Gospel that it’s no
wonder that was his first response. It was also seen when my sister’s husband
joined the church and they were sealed as an eternal family one year later. And
the times I would catch my mom reading the Book of Mormon. Five of the kids in
my family have served or is serving a mission, and it was such a great
experience to be gathered as a family when each of those callings was opened.
The Spirit was so strong during those experiences. Those experiences happened
because we were taught who to look towards for the remission of our sins. That oldest
child who instigated so much violence? He’s in a Stake Presidency now :)
Making our homes like the temple is a daunting idea. My family was pretty
bad at family prayer, family scripture study and family home evening when I was
younger. I think we gave up on those because it usually ended up in a
bloodbath. That doesn’t mean we did not try to have the Savior in our home. My
mom had our house covered in pictures related to the gospel and with scriptures
framed up on the wall. Elder Wirthlin said,
“We don’t have to be fast; we simply
have to be steady and move in the right direction. We have to do the best we
can, one step after another…the only thing you need to worry about is striving
to be the best you can be. And how do you do that? You keep your eye on the
goals that matter most in life, and you move towards them step by step…That is
easy enough. We don’t have to be perfect today. We don’t have to be better than
someone else. All we have to do is to be the very best we can.”
It can be so
easy to compare ourselves and how we’re doing with what the rest of the ward or
world is doing. I love the idea that we keep our eye on the goals and move
towards them. Why? Because it is worth it. Sarah DeArmon Pea Rich was an
amazing pioneer, who speaking of the temple said,
“Many were the blessings we had
received in the house of the Lord, which has caused us joy and comfort in the
midst of all our sorrows…if it had not been for the faith and knowledge that
was bestowed upon us in that temple by the influence and help of the Spirit of
the Lord, our journey would have been like one taking a leap in the dark.”
She was
speaking of the temple, but if we are to make our homes like the temple, we
could say those same things about our home. Amidst all the craziness, I know in
my home I received faith and knowledge. As I grew up and went to the temple to
make covenants, I recognized that faith and knowledge that I learned at home
was also in the temple. We make our homes like the temple so we want to be in
each of them. The temple reminds us of our homes on earth and in heaven, and
our homes on earth remind us of the covenants we make in the temple. When
centered on the Savior, our homes, like the temple, become that light which
keeps our journey from being a leap in the dark, and I am so grateful for the
one I grew up in and the one Ryun and I are creating together.
